On Homeschooling

We are in our seventh week of homeschooling.  I have not broadcast this information beyond those I see on a regular basis.  I wanted to get our feet under us before I had to deal with defending our decision.

I have many friends and some family members who have taught their children at home.  I've seen the appeal, but at the heart of my own disinclination to homeschool was my own selfishness.  I didn't want to have to give up the time or use the mental energy that I knew it would require of me, the introvert.

Through a chain of circumstances in July, God changed my heart toward homeschooling.  Starting with a sermon, a book and two conversations, my aversion grew into a willingness to entertain the idea and finally into actual excitement.  My teen perception of homeschooling was that it was done out of fear - fear of danger and exposure to the world.  Fear wasn't the motivation I wanted to drive my decision.  And as we each determine the education of our children, no matter what we choose, we need to understand our motivations, intentions and desires.  

As I read, thought and talked this summer, I realized that there were better reasons to homeschool.  For one, maybe my children could actually get a better education if they were taught by someone who knows them well and who can give them lots of individual attention!  So here are my positive reasons for homeschooling:

*I can teach them how to think and not just what to think.
*By following their passions, we can inspire a love of reading, learning and curiosity feeding. 
*We can use school to ignite their heart for the Lord.
*We don't have to waste their time covering material that they already know, waiting for discipline issues with other students to be resolved or by riding the bus for almost two hours a day.
*We get to read real books together.  I am not a player or a crafty mom, but I love to read and this is one great way for us to spend time together.
*We can encourage their strengths and invest time in their interests.
*We'll have time to teach them about adult life: cooking, doing laundry, balancing checkbooks, and caring for their younger siblings.
*Finally, we can strengthen family relationships through all of that time playing and problem-solving together. 

I am seeing the most benefits in my peace, their ability to play together and reading levels.  It is not easy, though contrary to popular concern, socialization is not a big issue.  The idea of public school is so ingrained into us that we believe that children learn to behave like adults by modeling on a large class of their peers.  Last I knew, apprentice electricians still learn under journeyman electricians to wire a house.  So, apprentice adults should learn how to be an adult by learning from adults.

One person said to me that my children shouldn't be homeschooled because they need to know how to function in the real world and that the trials of junior high and high school will teach them through those hard knocks.  Again, the real world is generally not a group of peers.  My husband's coworkers range from twenty years older than him to  ten years younger than him.  Wouldn't he have been better served learning and interacting with a wide age range of students in his formative years - such as a homeschool group and mentor parents or adults?

Anyway, the hard is not the social.  The hard part for me is making sure that that social does not overtake the learning!  I've had to really organize my time and days in order make time for learning and preschoolers and baby snuggling and time for myself to read and write.  Yes, I've sacrificed, but mainly time on Facebook!  Seven weeks in and it is worth it.

I know that hard times will come and that is why I've written out my list to remind myself why our family has chosen this lifestyle.  I'm sure I'll need to read it again.      

Snow in September

We had a ninety degree day this past week, but last week, we had our first snow of the season. As the fluffy stuff piled up and gardens froze, my Facebook newsreel was awash with white. This is a natural reaction to snow in September, even in the West, but the day was September 11th.

I realized once again that any tragedy eventually becomes old news. On a day that is normally reserved for moving posts about where we were that day (I was on Capitol Hill) and heart-felt remembrances, we were consumed with the precipitation on our decks.

I actually don't think this is a bad thing. Like most people, I have had tragedy in my life - the kind that punches you in the stomach whenever you wake up. It is a relief to know that the immediate can eventually consume death, destruction and terror.

Writing Again

After a two-kid hiatus, it is time for me to start writing again. I have nine minutes left of mandatory quiet time. Only one child naps anymore, so this time essentially means - let me be quiet. Stay in your rooms and don't talk to me. Now eight minutes to say why I've decided to write again. I took a short road trip last Friday and the drive was so beautiful. I had some time to think while the munchkins enjoyed the generally restricted DVD player. My life is beautiful too, but it doesn't seem like it in the middle of it. You know how you can be reading a passage in a book about someone's typical day and it seems fascinating because it is an intimate look at someone else's humdrum? Well (four minutes left), when I write about my life, it seems beautiful again. I can be on the outside, look in, and appreciate what is not apparent to the protagonist, only the reader. I need to write and then read my own life to appreciate it. So perhaps these are letters to myself and no one else. You are welcome to read them though as I start writing again. 2:30 - Time's up.

The man who married me...

Sometimes in the middle of picking up toys, clothes, doing dishes, making dinner, etc., it is hard to remember that this life (husband, child and home) is just the middle of a beautiful love story being written by God Himself. It is good to be reminded that our marriage was a miracle orchestrated by God. More than that, it is a miracle that my husband is alive today (vibrantly so) and his life shows the personal, loving touch of God.

Timothy shared his story at church this past week (April 18th) and he reminded me again of these things. I so appreciate his passion, honesty and bravery in sharing what he did. I hope that you are blessed by it too. You can listen in on the link below.

http://www.livingrockgillette.com/resources/sermon-audio

Pining

I've found myself pining late at night for the friends and camaraderie that I enjoyed in college. This is unusual for me as I don't usually spend much time looking at the past, but I've had a chronic case of nostalgia in 2010. (I haven't seen this on the symptom list for the second trimester of pregnancy either - though that is to blame for most anything else that ails me.) Don't get me wrong, those friends still exist, but they aren't here and a part of my daily life. Like me, most of them have turned inward with the acquisition of spouses, homes and offspring. It is hard to include someone in this small and intensely emotional world when they aren't here and it is the same for them I suppose.

It makes me wonder - have I reached my quota of deep friends for life? I truly appreciate those I still have, but wonder if I've lost my ability to make more. If my daughter is awake and present, I seem to only devote half a brain to a conversation and an adult conversation takes a full brain. The other half of my brain will probably be used up in August when #2 is born.

There are still joys each day, but I suppose I'll always miss that web of friendships and people. Though if you would have asked me 10 years ago, I probably would have been yearning for a husband and family :)

Thanksgiving

Water changing the land...

Apparently life in here is not conducive to blogging. It is also not conducive to technology. Just this week, the dishwasher stopped working. This was the morning that I had to make almost all the desserts for our family's Thanksgiving and on a day when calling a repairman was out of the question. I still haven't caught up on those dishes. (I think some little fingers have been pushing multiple buttons and blew the circuits.) Then, I dropped my cell phone in the toilet. Thankfully, it was the first thing in the toilet - hint, hint - I just had to fish in water. Some buttons work and some don't. It won't charge, but it will let me make calls as long as it is plugged in. I realize this defeats the purpose of a cell phone, but I really use it more as my mobile phone book now that I'm at home most of the time. On a long drive last weekend, I blew a fuse in my husband's car while trying to use an old power converter. That is three, so I'm hoping that I don't have any more technical missteps. I don't think our budget can take anything else.

Ridding myself of some of these items may have a purpose. I had four hours of driving time with no radio and no company last weekend. It was the first uninterrupted thinking time I've had in months. I was on a new road - for me - and I was able to remember how much topography interests me. I like to watch how places connect and how water - though it is rare - leaves such a deep imprint on land here. I was able to push back at the press of daily work that fills my head and think about who I want to be in five years rather than what I'm making for dinner tomorrow night.

I took advantage of the opportunity, but I still hope that my husband has changed the fuse the next time I drive his car.

I'm a self-evaluator, a second and third guesser, when it comes to my interactions with other people.  I walk away from a conversation thinking, "that wasn't the tone I wanted."  This has primarily happened in my conversations with adults.  Not any longer.  

A few weeks ago, H was having a particularly challenging day and I was also challenged with keeping my cool.  I picked her up and told her, "You are driving your mama nuts."  She looked at me and said, "Nutsss."  I realized this conversation was all wrong.  

With kids, you do get second chances to correct poor conversations.  We've turned it into a joke and now I ask her "What do you drive your mama?"  She loves to say, "Nuts!"  It's a crowd pleaser.  Hopefully she won't remember that I was serious the first time I said it.  

"Driving mama nuts is just a day's work for me."